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Good morning, Chase. Being a writer is a difficult choice for some of us. I am having a day where I wonder if I should continue writing anything. It would be so much easier to not write. Yet, I yearn to see words on a page that have come from my inner world. Are you writing fiction? I bet you’d be food at it.

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I’m definitely feeling overwhelmed today. As of June I’ll be working five days a week. Albeit it’s three really wondrous weird jobs cobbled together into a nearly full time schedule. I calculated how much money I will make.

It wouldn’t be enough to even survive if I didn’t have a partner.

My kids aren’t going back to school. Probably ever? And though our immediate family unit is now more than ok with this outcome, I know it’s going to come with a world of judging from the peoples who exist outside this family.

I’m trying not to attach this capitalism or these traditional parenting ideals to my self worth. But hah.

On Monday I cried at the dentist. While his hands were in my mouth, and I’d told him I had high anxiety, and am autistic, and it was like he didn’t know what those words meant.

Sometimes my body cries and inside I’m fine. Like the noise of the world and the lights and the textures are overwhelming but there is a part of me that doesn’t want to be crying because people think I’m sad. My body cries for all the feelings. My brain and my body are like two separate entities and I get frustrated because all I want to do is have people take me seriously, and they can’t because a significant portion of the time I’m crying at them.

I can’t even do crying right either.

I’m really looking forward to your book. I love your writing and it makes me think, and makes me want to write. AND. It makes me want to read.

Thank you. For sharing your words.

Send my hugs to Nicole, and take some for yourself if you want them.

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